Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

hi. thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ol-ive

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops