Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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