Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...