How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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