What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

Penis

whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

CAS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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