What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Your Mom

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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