how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

retard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

hi will

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -26

During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Rigo your a stupid ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops