How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops