How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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