Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a gay guy Ej

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops