What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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what porn does a nugget watch nugget porn.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Death by kayak

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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