What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

children burning

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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