What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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69

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Brain fart

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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