What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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josh simpson has cancer

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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