A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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