What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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fava beans

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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GONNA

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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like most people my age. im 27

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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mc hammers income.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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