A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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