What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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