who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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David Silberberg is gay

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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if it's friday, it must be China

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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womens rights

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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