SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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An Englishmen, an Australian, an American and a Chinese man were in a bar they were all friends who were having a drink together.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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