Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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