What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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How come grilled cheese?

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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