what's funny about war? nothing!

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Knock knock --Come in.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Winking at old people

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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