How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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