Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,321

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pudding

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black and has no education A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A child with cancer grows up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops