have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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