Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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