How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Penis.

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My nipple is bleeding

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Go away still nothing to see

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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j

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The Irish man was sober.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Neither have I

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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