Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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hi. thats what she said.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Your mother is so fat.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Men's rights.

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Contrary to popular belief when life hands you lemons you cannot make lemonade. Water and sugar are two other essential ingredients.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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