Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

Barack Obama

vbh

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

9/11

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...