What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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