What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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What did one barstool say to the other? Nothing, inanimate objects cannot talk.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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