Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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womens rights

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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