i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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c-? men, C-men

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops