Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Justin's life

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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A man goes to the potty.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's the new green? Green

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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