What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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