Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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