Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

Atheism

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

joe galasso from plainview ny

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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