What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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