Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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