What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

thumb_up thumb_down +2

He is so gay that he likes penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

you will die someday

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why were corners made? For crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69- by Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops