Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -20

#scabbers

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the square root of four? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops