What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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knock knock? come in

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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Women's rights.

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q

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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im a selling a car

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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