I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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#scabbers

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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