Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops