Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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you

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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