A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Haha

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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why did the cow cross the road? n i g g e r

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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