Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

thumb_up thumb_down +23

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops