Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops