What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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Where's my tractor?

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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