Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Life

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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I went to work today....

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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