Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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dildo

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Religion

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Whats big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A Fridge.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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